Monday, November 7, 2011

Adoption Agency Approves Homestudy!

I just got an emailed invoice today. Normally, I would not be excited about another bill, but this one means that our homestudy has been approved by our adoption agency. Once I receive the official approval letter, we send off our USCIS paperwork. We are getting closer to having the paperwork done, and then we'll just be waiting. And waiting...and waiting.

I thought this would be a good time to share something that Bryan and I have been thinking about.

(Stepping up on soapbox).

One of our challenges with considering adoption has been trading the safe, secure, delightful life we have now, for a future that we know nothing about. We spend a lot of time together; we have little financial stress; we do what we want when we want to do it.

After spending time with friends with young children, I am reminded of how easy our life really is. (And by easy, I mean that we're footloose and fancy-free. Of course, we have challenges and heartaches and frustrations. Just like everyone else.)

We know that adoption will have its own joys, but frankly, it will have challenges that we know we are not equipped to handle. Our life changes go from the mundane differences (having little people who will mess up the house and add more stuff to our somewhat barren house. Yes, we like it that way.) to the major (being responsible for their spiritual upbringing, their health, sleepless nights, crazy days, mental anguish, and perhaps other issues, like attachment problems).

Most people have been positive about this change in our life. Others have not. And if you have reservations, we get that. We have them, too. This isn't an attack on anyone.

But this is what Bryan and I have thought about: Since when has God wanted us to be selfish? Since when has God wanted us to protect what we have by keeping it to ourselves? Since when is the safety, predictability, and ease of our life worth more than a child (or children) who has no parents, who doesn't have a place to call home, who probably doesn't know about God and His son, and who will leave the orphanage/foster care at 18 and NEVER have a place to come home to? What happens to these children?

I admit that I always thought adoption was a "nice" thing to do. I didn't realize that it was so hard. And I never really thought about what happens to children who don't get adopted. Imagine all the decisions they have to make at 18 years old. Alone.

We know we will make mistakes. We hope that when we do that it won't get blamed on our children for being adopted. We pray that people will understand the advantages that their own children have had (being loved, snuggled, needs always met, never starving, secure, not dealing with rejection, trauma, or neglect) and to be compassionate to our children who may not have had those advantages.

I don't think that God wants everyone to adopt. But I do believe (reference James 1:27) that He does want everyone to be involved with the fatherless. There are many ways to do that other than adoption. It can make a difference to one soul, and that is why Bryan and I have started down this challenging road.

(Stepping down from soapbox.)

May you find something today that "stretches" your comfort zone, but advances the Gospel and brings glory to our Father.