I held him because I wanted closure and to move on.
That day, things didn't go as we expected and the following 48 hours were some of the longest and hardest and most emotional Bryan and I have experienced.
And then we brought him home.
Our life that we thought was full overflowed.
We thought our life was rich, but it turns out it was stale and tasteless compared to what we have now.
"Couple" was a nice word until it was replaced with "family."
I don't mean to paint an idealistic picture. Despite my best efforts to be intentional about every moment with him, when exhaustion or selfishness sets in, I have been frustrated. But not often. Instead, we bask in the joy he has brought us. I love seeing Bryan in his new role as a father, and we enjoy the newness and innocence (and cuteness!) of Baby J.
After eight weeks, I:
- still don't have "baby wipe economy" down. We use as many wipes as necessary, but I freely admit I'm jealous of the mothers who can deftly clean up a mess with two wipes. Two!
- realize we can do a lot more with two arms than we thought
- don't need as much sleep as we thought (though I believe God helps us do more with less)
- found that I no longer have two hours to clean the house...but I have two minutes to clean the toilet. And then I will have two more minutes later to throw a load of laundry in
In so many ways, our lives have changed. And I would say, all for the better.
We still don't know what the end of the Baby J book will be, but we like the chapter we're on.
In Poland news, well, there is no news. As I mentioned before, we'll probably have to wait until October at least.
