Court did not go as we planned today.
When I picked him up on our way home, fear squeezed my heart. All afternoon, we took turns holding him.
We prayed. I read the Bible. As I opened the pages, I breathed, "Lord, whisper sweet peace to me."
Philippians (my favorite book), Chapter 4. Selected verses:
4 - Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice
6 - Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God
7 - And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus
11 - Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content
13 - I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me
19 - But my God shall supply all your need, according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus
20 - Now unto God and our Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
As I looked at his sleeping, sweet face, I thought, If we have to give him up in a couple of days, how will we do that?
Then, our caseworker called. Baby J would have to leave tonight. In one hour.
The minutes were precious. I kissed him over and over. Bryan held him as I gathered some clothes and necessities. I took him back again.
And then he was gone.
Baby J's father and his father's family are so happy to have him. I don't blame them. He is a very special little boy. They had been hurting like we hurt now.
Yes, there is a very small chance we could get him back. But it may be only temporary. So our prayer is this: that God could heal our hearts; that God would give Baby J's father the wisdom and love to raise him well; and that Baby J will somehow remember those prayers whispered in his ear and someday serve our Savior.
86 days. Long enough to fall in love. Long enough to hurt on the 87th day.
Prayers going up on your behalf and for sweet Baby J. I tell people when they ask (one of the most common questions we get) how we can give up foster children, I say, "Isn't every child worth a broken heart?" Every child deserves a home and God's love poured into them. May God comfort you in this void you have now and bless you for caring for His precious child in the days you were given with him and may he watch over Baby J no matter what the days ahead hold for him.
ReplyDeleteHope Stoller
We are praying for you and for baby J that he can be well loved and cared for and that God will fill this void I know must be so painful. My heart aches so bad to see this happen and I pray that we can all trust that God knows what He is doing even at a time like this. Keep trusting in Him and we will contine to pray for you.
ReplyDeleteLove Always,
Jesse & Karla
We just sent our 2 foster children home 3 weeks ago, so I understand what you are feeling. We had the baby boy since he was born and he was here for 10 short months. His sister was here for 9 months. She was 2 1/2 and the sweetest little girl. God's grace is amazing when we are hurting and the only way we are able to move on. So thankful we had the opportunity to be blessed with them for so short a time. I think of the verse in the book of Esther that says, "For such a time as this".
ReplyDeleteKari B
Tremont, IL
My heart is hurting for you guys as I read this post.. and I really don't know what to say.. except that I am praying for ALL of you. That you and Bryan will feel comfort and peace for the days to come.. and that God, in His amazing love, will provide for all three of you in ways that right now are beyond our comprehension!
ReplyDeleteAlissa Wiegand