One Rainy April Morning

As I struggled to fall asleep, I prayed for the baby and his parents. The next morning, I heard that the baby had been born.
I wanted to see him, so I checked with both parents. They said it was okay.
Bryan said, "I can't go, I just can't see him."
So I drove alone. And I held him on a rainy April morning. He was precious, but I was content to leave.
Things did not go as I expected them to go though.
As I stood quietly, I saw lots of love in his family and I felt lots of pain for them. I realized that love is more than just providing for your child, it's more than a stable environment. Frankly, I saw a deep love and anguish that cuts deeply in my heart. I can't explain it.
Like I said, things were different than I expected. Through another up and down day, Bryan and I were bewildered. We were faced with more decisions and what should we do? What should you do when any action will hurt someone?
In the morning, I begged God to just show me He cared. I know He cares about me, but did He care about this situation? Did He really? And if He really did, could He please show us what to do?
And suddenly, I knew God would show me in a very clear way what we should do in the sermons of the day.
If I told you that God brought an amazing sermon to us, would you be surprised? I tried to keep the tears from falling, because God said to me, "Keep trying. Don't give up on this baby. It may not be exactly what you wanted. You may have concerns, but this is not about you."
Bryan and I felt the same. We didn't know what would happen; we only knew we had to try.
At 5pm today, we brought Jayden home. He is in our home through foster care. Only God know how long he will be here.
Even though we are happy to have him here (and overwhelmed, who are we kidding?), we are so sad for his birth family.  Please pray for them if you can.
We promised them that we would love him and care for him. And we want to enjoy every minute because it may not last.