Adoption Update

The only indication that we're getting closer (perhaps, I must always insert perhaps) to a baby is the four tubs of boy clothes on the family room floor I am going through. The crib is up, but then, it's always up.

Otherwise, we've done nothing. Sometimes I sit in a chair, pretending I need to rest my swollen feet and ankles :). I don't have swollen feet and ankles, of course, but resting is nice.

Bryan and I were chatting last night. We both agreed we feel out of control. A phone call to the lawyer yesterday revealed that we were at a standstill. We wish we would be making progress with the paperwork, but he's trying. We called the birthmother last night and felt better after talking to her. She said we could come to the hospital when she's in labor, if we want to. We do. 

I wonder if other expectant parents feel the way we feel now. Not knowing when the phone call will come. Not knowing where we'll be. Wondering if we should take our family trip the first weekend in April or if he'll be born when we're hours from home. Wondering what he'll look like or how his personality will be.

Not knowing if we will be bringing him home.

I am trying to stay busy, but not too busy. I want to savor the last few weeks of being with Bryan without the distraction of a child. I want to enjoy throwing myself into my job and serving my students. I want to give myself a crash course on being more selfless, loving, tender, patient, and kind. I want to look forward in great anticipation to meeting our son. I want to have time to really (and I mean, REALLY) think about our parental responsibilities.

Still waiting.