Though He slay me

When I say we've been stressed, I know there are people who have suffered (and still suffer) so much more than we have. My heart bleeds for them. This story is not one of "how-we-have-the-worst-situation" because that's not us. We have been amazingly and wonderful blessed.

But I picked up a calendar last week and started going through the first weeks of 2012. There have been some really hard things. Thankfully, someone shared the verse from Job: Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him.

Last week, I took back all my thoughts that adoption was a beautiful thing. It was stripped down to its nakedness and revealed that adoption results from pain, sin, the questions that will forever remain unanswered (why did I get the good things out of life? I don't deserve them more than that person, etc.), and on and on. It seemed to show the stark inequality in the world, that life really is not fair and that, frankly, sometimes people have so many things against them, how can they ever get out of the hole and have dreams of their own future?

Last night, we had dinner with part of baby A's family. We were "interviewed" by them and it was a good experience. On the way home, I thought to myself, "Yes, adoption does reveal the gritty, realistic details of life. But, while it may not be beautiful in and of itself, it seems redemptive somehow. That a couple with no children to love might be given one. And a family who isn't sure they can provide for a child they love might have a place to send him." 

So while it seems too real to be beautiful, with God's perfect wisdom, it seems right.

We still don't know what the family will decide, but they said they would let us know on Monday.

No matter what happens now, we're okay with it, because...Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him.