Another day, another new adventure

After we dropped the kids off on Tuesday, the caregivers asked them how their day went. They told them all they had done. One thing that was very special to them was that they got to pick out their own meals when we went out for lunch. And they also got to raid the refrigerator whenever they wanted to. G, our agent, said this is very typical for children raised in an institution. Because there are so many children, they have to eat what is put before them, when it's put in front of them. No other option.

The kids told the caregivers that they had a good day and they were ready for us again. Before we left, the caregivers gave us lots of neatly folded, nice clothes for them, along with toys. I was surprised about this as we were told that they would have nothing. I'm also very impressed with the orphanage. They clearly love the kids and do their best for them. When I said as much to G, she said, "Yes, but it's still an institution." She is right; no matter what, the best place for kids to thrive is in a family. 

We have only seen a couple of the kids. The orphanage workers said some of them are sad that they aren't getting parents, too. It's particularly hard on one boy. And that's hard for me.

Today we met our translator in the old part of the city. It's very pretty with cool buildings, a river, and several canals. She showed us the city cathedral, the padlock bridge, a playground, and a McDonalds. The padlock bridge was similar to a bridge over the River Seine in Paris. People put padlocks on the bridge with their names on it. They wanted to get a padlock and put the four of our names on it. Then when "we come back sometime, we can see if it's still here!"

At McDonalds, which we're pretty sure they'd never been to, they wanted "Happy Meals -" they were very adamant about the Happy Meals. Bryan also taught them how to blow the straw papers at people. They went through more straws than necessary and we had to clean up a few papers when we left the restaurant. At the table, they also said that Mama never has to go to jail (the game they played yesterday) because she isn't naughty. At last, someone has figured out the truth!

And when we walked by the River, one of the kids said that we had to repeat the name of the river...and they would be checking back to see if we remembered it in a few hours! That's my kind of kids, keeping us accountable :).

We came back to the apartment and played some more. Dad went back to jail a few times. This time they actually fed him some grapes. Then it was time to take them back for their last night there.

We got groceries again (seems to be a daily occurrence). Everything is in small containers. The milk, the nonrefrigerated orange juice. And it's been interesting to figure out what to make for meals. We made crepes for breakfast this morning, we eat lots of bread and salad and apples, and cereal. It's an adventure, for sure, but we're being treated very well by those taking care of us.

Kids speak the same language

We were planning to go to a zoo today, but one of the kids developed a fever last night. The plan was to spend the day mostly in the apartment to keep the kids out of the weather. We were wondering how to keep the kids busy, but our toys worked. 

The funniest activity (at least to me) was Dad Goes To Jail. The kids would "lock" Bryan up in our closet, shouting orders in English through the door: "Stand up!" "Sit down!" (They don't know much English, but they do know that, some numbers, and some colors.) Sometimes they would even let him out to have some bread and water.

We walked to the same lunch spot we went yesterday. I thought I ordered the same thing, but instead I ordered sweet pierogi, filled with sweetened cottage cheese and strawberries. They were good, but I missed my other ones. First we ordered the kids one meal to share. Since this was our first meal together, we had no idea how much they ate. They wanted fried potatoes (french fries) and chicken. And Coca Cola. Fortunately, the bottles were small :). From all appearances today, they are healthy eaters. They also wanted to take home the glass Coke bottles (you know, to give the prisoner some water). 

Before we went home, we made our daily trip to the grocery store, this time with the kids. They picked out yogurt, pudding, chocolate-y cereal, a sucker, and a couple of toys. I know you probably don't care what they picked out, but doesn't it sound like something the kids in your life would pick? While we were there, one of them dropped the Coke bottle and it smashed into a thousand pieces. Again, doesn't that sound like something that would happen to you?

We came home and they proceeded to eat 4 things of yogurt and two things of pudding. I predict a large grocery bill.

Today, they initiated more physical contact. When we took them back tonight, one child gave each of us a hug.  I definitely feel like they enjoy being with us. Still, sometimes I can tell that they need space. One of them held my hand for awhile, then stopped. Then later hugged me. 

Things that are challenging...it's frustrating that I don't know how to say, "Please don't stand so close to the front of the elevator that doesn't have a door on it because your coat could get caught." We're picking up quite a few food words, but that doesn't help the commands to do (or not do) something. We have at least one more day with our translator. She said that it will be good when she leaves because we will be forced to communicate. Now, if we don't understand something, she steps in. Thursday, it will be sink or swim (or more likely, Google Translate).

The day we met our kids

When we got to the orphanage this morning, we were met by several different people. We were led into a little room with tea, coffee, and cookies. We were told one of our children helped set the table and wanted to stay for the meeting, but wasn't allowed.

During the meeting, all the information about the children was shared again. When the hour was up, it was time to meet the kids. I had not allowed myself to really think about how it would go, beyond a few things. For instance, I was trying to think of what to say. I wanted to say "I love you" but I didn't want to scare them. Instead, I learned the word for an informal hello. Then I wasn't sure how to welcome them. Hug or no hug? No contact at all?

In the end, this is what happened. The door opened...and two sweet children were led into the room. They were holding a plate of cookies they had made, along with two large cards they made for us with stickers, their names, and their picture. I didn't say anything or make an effort to hug them. I smiled, but that was all.

I asked our translator if they were scared, and she said yes. We took some pictures with them, but it felt awkward. Just being honest. 

But that was the first five minutes. After I whipped out a toy or two from my bag, we were in business. We played with other toys. Then we went downstairs to a little gym where we played together. Immediately, they were calling us Tata and Mama (Daddy and Mommy). Every so often, one of the children would say (in Polish): This is my mommy. When they left for lunch, one of them gave Bryan a hug. We didn't want to initiate any hugs, either, because we wanted to leave the type of contact up to them. 

When we returned from lunch, I was in the room waiting for them while Bryan headed to the bathroom. The first thing one of the kids said when walking into the room with just me in it was "Hey, where's my Daddy?"

The remainder of the afternoon was spent in active play. I think we will have an active house. When we left, one of the kids told the orphanage workers, "I want to go home with them tonight. I will slip out quietly, so no one will know I am gone!" The kids said goodbye when we left, but didn't hug us or make a big deal out of it. However, when we looked back, they were waving at the window.

So, how did it go? Better than I expected. We have lots of work to do, but we will take it slow and steady, and someday soon, we will be a family.

Days 1-3

We got to our apartment today and I finally have internet access, so how about a recap?

Friday, April 12

Our flight out of Chicago was delayed until 8:30 pm, so we didn't get into Paris until 11:30 am on Saturday.

Saturday, April 13

Uncle Lyle and Angelina picked us up from the airport. I managed to sleep a little on the flight over (which is probably why I haven't felt jet-lagged yet). Basically, our day involved walking all over Paris. And eating, always eating. Which reminds me, I must grab another macaron. Be right back...

Lyle, Sonia, and Angie are moving to a new apartment. They have to be out of their old one April 15 - and that meant we saw Sonia for a total of 10 minutes. She is very busy cleaning and packing. So Lyle, Bryan, me (and sometimes Angelina) walked around the Latin Quarter, the River Seine, Sacre-Coeur, Notre Dame, both apartments, took the Metro, and ate lunch at Chez Francis. Here are pictures of our two dishes. I want you to guess who had the Steak and Pommes Frites and who had the Grilled King Prawn with Olive Polenta. Both were delicious.

Sorry, I couldn't figure out how to change the orientation of these images

We took a walking break by people-watching and sipping a cup of espresso and eating aforementioned delicate macaron.

We went up one level in the Eiffel tower. It was a long (gasp!) way (wheeze!) up to the first floor. I decided that I could pass on going up the rest of the way.

We then ate at Cafe Central. We had escargot (and I thought they were scrumptious. Really, I did!) and foie gras. Then the person who had steak earlier also had steak again, this time with a fantastic pepper sauce. The person who had seafood earlier also had seafood again: Creamy risotto with shrimps and curry sauce. We ate a healthy amount of bread, of course, and finished off the evening with Tatin Tart and Mille Feuilles.

Our tour guide eating escargot

We walked back to our Hotel and crashed until 5 am. We squeezed once more in the two person elevator and Lyle took us to the airport.

Sunday, April 14
We had outstanding service at the airport today. Everything went so smoothly on our Frankfurt flight and then to Warsaw. Our agency's agent (I will call her G) met us there and drove us to our kids' city. Our apartment has changed, so it is NOT the pink and purple one some of you may have seen. It's very nice and on the 9th floor. So our first rule as parents is "DON'T GO OUT ON THE BALCONY!" Now, to figure out how to say that in Polish.

Here is the view from our balcony

G took us grocery shopping which was quite fun. For dinner, I made some pierogi (actually, I boiled some premade ones - yummy!), a salad, the ubiquitous bread and butter, and apples.

Today, sweet Baby J turns one. One year ago today, I met him for the first time. Tomorrow, we meet our children for the first time. Both situations have been (and will continue to be) filled with challenges. But, in the case of Baby J, the challenges have been worth it. I know it will be the same with our other children.

Our staff meeting is at 10 tomorrow morning (3 am, CST). We will meet the children at some point after that. I will update when I can!

It's a small world after all

1. I went down to Springfield one.last.time this morning. It took 14 minutes once I got there. Wahoo!

2. Our water heater died today and needs to be replaced tomorrow. In the meantime, it's leaking water all over the basement floor when the water is turned on.

3. Both Bryan and I think we're coming down with sinus infections. Nice.

3. Now the small world story. So anyway, friends of ours found this blog of an American living in our kids' city. Keep in mind this city is several hundred thousand people. This lady seems to do lots of volunteering and wrote that she went to an orphanage to make cookies and teach English to a little girl who was going to be adopted by a family in the US. I emailed her to see if she wanted to hang out while we were there (Is that weird? I have emailed another lady who is the friend of a former student, too - we're broadening our horizons!). Anyway, it turns out that she is the one who was giving our kids English lessons. Isn't that amazing? She said they were GREAT kids!

Thank you

Thank you. Two simple words. But what they express? Not so simple.

I'm no stranger to the kindness of others. I could tell you story after story of being the recipient of the generosity and kindness and love of others throughout my life. This time is no different.

We (I) was apprehensive about how to pay for an international adoption. Friends who had also adopted said that it was "doable" because the fees were split up over many months. Anyway, we decided not to do a fundraiser (nothing wrong if people want to) because we have decent jobs and have been working full-time longer than we care to admit. Along the way, I picked up a couple of extra classes and some side work to pay for our adoption fees. Bryan sold his tractor, blah blah.

By the time we hit the summer of 2012, we had enough money saved to cover the last major fee, and we were confident that we would have enough time to save up the travel/living expenses before we left. Then our septic system exploded :(. I'll spare you the details, but basically the only thing that was draining was our savings account. By the time we got a new septic system, we were no longer flush (how many puns can I use :)) with cash. I worried about it a little, but it wasn't a huge deal. If we needed to take out a loan, we'd take out a loan. I was still doing side work, too.

And then money came in. Sometimes it was anonymous, sometimes it wasn't. Sometimes it was from people I knew sacrificed a lot to give to us. They could have used the money themselves. Every time, I felt unworthy. We were able to pay our last fee with no problem. We will be able to pay for our travel and living expenses, too. I shouldn't have worried at all. So thank you.

Over the last few months, we have had multiple offers from people. How can I help? was the common question. Some people went shopping for me. Some people made food. Some people helped me clean. Some people helped Bryan with outside work. Someone is even sheep-sitting. And someone else is house-sitting! There are so many things that I can't even mention them all. And everyone picked up our slack when we were overwhelmed. To the people who saw needs, even when we didn't know them ourselves, thank you.

People have given us gifts for the kids and things for our travel, even people we don't know.

I can't tell  you how many times over the last couple of years that people told us they were praying for us. And they meant it. We made it through some bumps because of them. Thank you.

This has been an overwhelming, emotional, sometimes very hard journey. We weren't (and still aren't) sure we can parent these children in the best way possible. Every time I would start to get nervous, someone would tell me how excited they were to meet these children and how glad they were for us to have a family. I've had emails from people we've never met, and they are excited, too. Those sweet words renewed our desire to have a family, in spite of the challenges that are ahead. So for your kind, kind words, thank you.

Our employers and coworkers are willing to put in extra effort for the time we are gone. They are even willing to let us be gone in the first place:). And they aren't complaining about it. So thank you.

We don't deserve you. But thank you. From the bottom of our hearts.

And just nine more days before we leave!

Our adoption agency's agent met the kids this week and shared new pictures with us. She also said the kids are really excited, and they each made calendars that count down the days until we arrive. We have been preparing ourselves for weeks that the kids may not be as excited to meet us as we are to meet them. Maybe they had dreams of what their parents would be like, and we aren't that. Or maybe they will be angry that we are taking them away from everything they've ever known. 

But when I saw their smiling faces next to the calendars they made for us, it made me really happy. It doesn't mean that we won't have challenges or that they won't be angry with us sometimes. But we're excited they're at least excited right now!

We are slowly marking off things on our to do list. Yesterday, we had a phone call with our agency's director to learn more about the travel process. I am still waiting for one more letter than needs apostilled. We received our updated I-800a forms two days ago. 

In our remaining nine days, we're trying to eat through the perishable food we have, arrange bill paying, figure out the mail, and PACK! Packing starts this weekend.

I really wish I could share the pictures of the kids with you. Just a few more weeks before I can do that.